by Sidney Durham
"Just checkin' your temperature, babe."
"Just ask me. Don't touch. This is the hottest day of the summer, and this is the hottest summer in history and - Stop that! I mean it!"
"Did you know this nipple's popped out? Is that like one of those things they put in turkeys? Does it mean you're ready to eat?"
"Stop being silly. I have to get this roast ready to go in the oven. I just can't believe you asked your parents over on a day like this."
"How'd I know the air conditioning was gonna break? Did you know you're not wearing a bra?"
"Gerald, really! Of course I know!"
"Well, are you wearing panties under these cutoffs?"
"You shouldn't wear them so tight. How can I check?"
"Go over there and peel those carrots! It's too hot for this kind of thing."
"I've got some peeling in mind. Soon as I get this unbuttoned."
"Gerald! Stop that! Are you going to help me or not?"
"I am helping! Right now I'm checking to see if you're wearing panties. I can't believe you didn't know if you were wearing a bra. I'm just trying to help out here."
"Let go and peel the carrots!"
"Aha! No panties!"
"Do the carrots!"
"How about this carrot? Feel it."
"Mister, you're making me mad. Button my shorts back up, please. My fingers are greasy."
"Just look at this bad boy. I mean, it ain't orange or anything, but I'll bet it's definitely a hybrid. What do you think?"
"Gerald! Pull your pants back up! That's indecent, right here in the kitchen and all. I mean, the windows are open! Pull up your pants and put that away!"
"We could do a no touch fuck, baby. Look at this thing."
"What do you mean by 'no touch'? Something has to touch something. Just put it away. The neighbors will hear us."
"Just the important parts touch. You just bend over the sink, and I'll just slip up behind you and..."
"Nope. You'd have to touch me. Your hips would have to touch my bottom."
"No, I mean my bottom. I don't use those kinds of words."
"I meant 'your ass I'd touch you'. My dick's longer than usual right now. We can do touchless fucking. It'll be no touch, babe, I guarantee. Look how long this thing is!"
"Nonsense. Besides, I have to get the roast ready. Pull up your pants."
"It's longer! I guarantee it!"
"Gerald, that's ridiculous."
"Just look at it! It's a Texas thing. Us Texas boys have adaptable peckers. In hot weather it gets longer so we can do touchless fucking."
"It probably has something to do with sheep."
"Aw hon! That was cruel!"
"Well, it does look a little bigger, maybe. But nothing doing. It's too hot and I'm busy."
"I'm pretty hot myself, babe. Here, just lean forward like this and..."
"Hoo babe! You're ready for me aren't you? Bet you didn't know that, the same way you didn't know about your bra and panties. You're really wet, babe!"
"Gerald, let go of me!"
"Let me just show you what I mean. I'll just slip this bad boy right in here..."
"Oh... Um, stop, please."
"Don't worry, hon. See, I can go in this far without even coming into contact with your bottom. How about that? And then I can go in and out, like this, and -"
"I hate to break it to you, but..."
"But what, sweetie?"
"You're nowhere near long enough to get anything done that way. You're wasting my time and I'm very busy right now."
"Aw babe! First the sheep comment and now this! You're cruel! Are you sure?"
"I'm sure, Gerald. You're just not an all-weather man. I'm sorry to break it to you at a time like this."
"Isn't it even a little bit longer?"
"I don't think so Gerald. Didn't the sheep complain?"
"Well, Gerald, here's yet another reason you're lucky you married me."
"What would that be, hon?"
"I can help you learn to deal with your inadequacies. Why don't you just get with it?"
"I mean hammer me, Gerald. Hammer me. Get with it! Slam me!"
"All right! Hammering ma'am! Hammering!"
"Now isn't that better?"
"You bet! But I'm sorry about touching you, hon. I know I promised not to."
"Well, it does make up for that inadequacy of yours."
"Us Texas boys know how to innovate in hot weather, babe."
"Well, innovate me, Gerald - Ogod, here I - Hammer me!"
"Holy cow, babe!"
"Whew! Those sheep must have really liked you."
"Hey! That's mean!"
"Peel the carrots."
"Okay babe, but are you sure you're not a Texas girl?"
"Massachusetts. You know that."
"Well I was just wonderin'. You know, in hot weather a Texas girl's pussy will -"
"Peel the carrots."